Moments of Weight ~ #003 April 2014 – Haiga/Haibun for #FWF Free Write Friday: Ellen Bass Words (and) NaPoWriMo
Door(s) of Transition
in-love crumbling and the loss-of-a-loved-one crumbling. are different things to me. different moments. each hard. for me.
beating heart. instantly turned. to shattered red glass. in a word. a few words. a sudden realization. suddenly all that is known becomes in doubt. questionable.
EVERYTHING has to be reexamined.
to know a wall is a wall, i have to walk up to the wall. each wall. every wall. and touch it. with my hands. lean gently into it. as if touching it will reassure me. that there is a wall here. and here. and there. and i can not walk through it. otherwise. i have no confidence in what i think i know. believe i know. by my senses. to be there. around me in this world. each step. every step. i risk. falling through what i think i am standing on. into. something else. something unknown.
belief. as in faith. is a different way of knowing.
how do i go beyond the dissolving of my sense world? this touch, taste, hear, see, smell world. this salt world. that can slip away. as in water.
breathe. all i have to do is breathe. to be alive in this moment. and speak within my mind, “. . . .this is what it is like as this happens. . . .” each moment. this is what this moment is like when this happens.
eventually. the moments shift. great lengths of time may help. maybe. maybe not. some weights fade away. some weights linger. the weight of shattered red glass. may linger. still. i know i may learn. i believe. it is possible to learn. how to live with it. with shattered red glass. breathing. with shattered red glass. being. life.
i’m reasonably sure. because i watch the world around me. that all things born into this world. especially human beings. and specifically me. will have to die. that’s the only way i know to go on. the only door. past this world. at this time. that i’m reasonably sure. exists. although i suspect. there are other doors—still. quietly. it is this door. i know most about. this door. that is always here. here. where ever there is life.
when i realize this door is here. ever present. and know it. life becomes important to me again. i want to see everything i can see. experience. do. that i want to see. experience. or do. or at least keep working. and moving. toward these things. until i too. move on from this world. through the door.
what i do in this world. this life. is preparation. to be able to go through that door. preparation. the experience and possibly learning. and the choices i make. lead into what is through that door. i will go through that door. into what there will be. what i will become into. through that door.
that is belief. faith.
what the caterpillar does. eats. moves toward. is the preparation. preparing it. to go through a door. into another world. a cocoon door of transition. a cocoon door that leads into transformation.
transition. that door. that comes with life. to me is a transition door that leads to transformation.
what i leave behind? what we leave behind? i hope. is hope. is of help. to others. is of some benefit to those up next. in life. and that what remains from us. here. leads to fun. joy. or profound okay-ness. for these next up human beings—the us in all beings. that become into this life. if that happens. i’m okay with that. i’d like that.
is this love of life? or simply an awareness? an appreciation. of. for. in. the beauty. of being. life? . . . .and the doors we are born with—our door(s) of transition. into transformation.
this passage of life
to be born
- 8 x 12 Inches @ 300 ppi
- Digital Drawing and Painting
- Nikon D80 Digital Camera
- Perfect Effects 8
- Photoshop Elements 12
This is my (slightly edited) response to the #FWF Free Write Friday April 4, 2014 Ellen Bass prompt, found on Kellie Elmore’s Blog.
April is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) 2014. I hope to contribute at least one poetic writing each day—although I will post these on my blog only as I post (which currently is about 2-4 times a week). My response for:
of purple water