This IN Love Ride ~ #006 February 2014 – Haiga/Free Verse Haibun/#FWF Free Write Friday: Ponder This; Love
or This IN Love Spell
love is hard. it’s too hard. it’s too personal. it’s too tough. done.
and then there is this:
about IN Love.
the up is up in places beyond words. and the down is down below where words exist. that’s “in” love. IN Love, and of course IN Love-gone.
of course i can love someone without being “in love”. that’s a different thing. IN LOVE is a wordless place.
i’ve heard a simple way to tell when you are IN Love that works reasonably well—all the songs make sense.
yeah. they do. and of course it’s also true that things that are too silly to say about love (which has a lot to do with things said when you’re IN Love because In Love is more than fun—and silly is okay sometimes too), they put that into songs and it’s okay to sing that.
love tho. IN Love. is way too personal. i remember of course. i like that fall. the falling of into In Love. i’m not saying anything about Now. because that is where personal gets too personal and maybe even complicated.
i remember i don’t sleep well when i’m In Love. i’m okay with that as long as i’m within hand’s touch. beyond hand’s touch is too far. yes. 24/7/52. that’s how it works for me. holding onto a pillow just doesn’t do it. it may help. but it’s a desperate help. and no were near enough.
no. i’m not going into this IN Love stuff. i have to be careful. i can swan dive into In Love far too easy and clearly without knowing it. and missing IN Love. i’d prefer to swan dive into concrete. yeah. potent and powerful. i put a spell on you. poetry in motion. last kiss. runaway. potion number nine all over splat me and i’m a goner. radar love. crazy on you. little lies. sara. stand by me. when i think about you. i just want to see you so bad. big bad handsome man. wishlist.
i know this: i can walk down a street. the weather and time of year can be the same. the day, the same day. spring, summer, autumn or winter. in fact it can be minutes apart. and in IN Love, everything is alive and beautiful. and in IN Love-gone, nothing exists—other than me—and i’d rather not exist either.
i’ve had that experience. okay it was a day later. the same storm. one day that storm was beautiful and alive, wild and awing and fun and what ever sloshed over me or on my feet was fine, fun, light, a delight. it was fun to feel it and stomp in the rain and exist. i didn’t think about it. it was just fine because IN Love was there.
and the next day. the IN Love-gone day. on that day, what ever sloshed over me or on my feet didn’t matter, it just didn’t exist. i could walk through the storm ankle deep in a puddle. waist deep. it didn’t matter. i didn’t feel it. wait. that’s not quite true. it existed, i just didn’t Know if it existed. if it was even real. i would have been fine if it were me not existing and feeling—it didn’t matter.
IN Love—i want to exist, be and feel. IN Love-gone—i don’t want to exist. feeling nothing would be better than feeling IN Love-gone. i’d like another dose of IN Love now please.
even in winter rain
a ride on Valentine’s Day
is there more to it than that? of course there is. i’m just not going into it.
there is, however: music. music that catches a whiff of IN Love and music that catches a whuff of IN Love-gone. these are not the only songs. just some that pop up in my head with thirty seconds of thought:
wait. there are too many. and those would be My IN Love songs. Your IN Love songs are most likely i suspect different.
try this: go to YouTube. put in the title of a song from the time when you were 15-16-17 years old that you liked. listen to it if you want to, however; scan through the songs that come up with that song. a few of those are bound to be connected to some of your first IN Love time (maybe, maybe not of course). pick and choose and chain play songs along those lines and see if that IN Love sense and feeling returns. music can be a good connector. that’s your IN Love reconnecting.
let me know what you find. or not. of course. i get that. because this stuff on IN Love is way too personal, even for me, way too personal. done.
Altered Digital Photograph
- 12 x 8 Inches @ 300 ppi
- Digital Drawing and Painting
- Nikon D80 Digital Camera
- Perfect Effects 8
- Adobe Photoshop Elements 12
This may or may not be acceptable as haibun or haibun thinking. It is a little off quilter for haibun (imo), however; I’m presenting it in a haibun format. So maybe and maybe not on haibun.